It is painfully sad to make someone who loves you unconditionally give up on you.
Is love staying or letting go? This question has been haunting me for a while. It creeps up in my head when I think of you. The memory of my every choice hurts you somehow. It was like any direction I step will make you cry. The fear of all these choices paralysed me, hoping that someone else would make my choices. Unfortunately, this fear of mine also hurt you. I wonder if you understand- I hated myself a bit to make you cry. I was tired of hurting you, so I made you give up. In doing so, I saved myself from drying your leaves. It must hurt too, cause I know you didn’t want to give up. You were too good to leave, and you cared about me.
On the other hand, the guilt of hurting you became too much. I was afraid of increasing the baggage. I know I’m the fool in this story to let you go. I lost all trust in me to take care of your heart. I lost the belief that I deserved you. After you gave up, I avoided your eyes. Acting jolly, but it will sting to see your eyes hating me. So packed our memories and ran away.
I wish you knew- every time I see you, despite packing all emotions into the past, I hope you are well. As the past feels like a distant dream, I am proud of your growth. My ears perk up at your name even though my face will be indifferent (at least I hope so). I take the breadcrumbs of information and congrats you in my head. I wish I could text a hi, but the story will never change. So I’ll send a breeze of wind and prayer of safety in your way.
Writer’s Note- Learning to gain perspective in past stranger’s shoes and adding my ending.
コメント