She wakes up again with no breath and panting. Struggling to catch her breath, she slowly calms herself. It has been this way for as long as she can remember—waking up like this. A general layout followed, much like students editing the same sample writing draft for the entirety of their student life. Similarly, her dreams followed suit. They always start with a wonder, overshadowed by the latter half. The latter dominated her hazy memory of her dreams. In school, she would miss the bus home. She remembers missing her bus, losing her way home, being terrified of never reaching home and being stranded in a bustling city. She always tries to make it home, but like a help-me bottle thrown in the ocean, nowhere is all she ever reaches. When she finally outgrew this dream and being stranded felt like an adventure, another one took its place. From missing the bus to missing class and being late, she started running in her sleep. Again, following suit, she runs to her classes and never reaches them, just getting lost in those streets. Sometimes, she is out with friends, and the clock starts ticking in her head, making her run home because she fears arriving late. You will be correct to think she never makes it home, where she wants to go desperately. The nightmares always include running from monsters and creatures. She has no words of description for them. The haziness of dream creatures, but the feeling of being scared stays in her chest as she wakes up and remembers that she had to run away. In those horror-themed dreams, she can’t run fast enough and always wakes up the moment her eyes meet the menacing, sadistic eyes of her predator.
Waking up today in the same manner, she wishes to feel okay enough to slow down and not run. She will try to be okay with being late in those dreams and calmly walk. It would be easy if some other actor in her dream production held her tight and did not let her run away and get lost. To help her understand that it will be alright if she misses that bus or class or comes home later than promised. It will be okay if the monster catches her; she’ll wake up and realise it was a dream. Maybe the monsters might not be monsters at all. But there is something in disguise that she can share a drink with. The saddest part of her dreams is not running but never reaching them. She wonders if or when she will ever make it home.
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